Never turn your back on it again
by Polyxeni
Summary: A fic focusing on Caren Ortensia solely. Her past, her future, her love, her pain, her fight. CuxCaren/GilxCaren/CuxBazett/


_**CAREN'S POV**_

I stand by the window and watch the raindrops as they slowly make their way down onto the blood stained ground. Washing away the remains of a murder that took place. He was a man connected to me. I remember him and how he used to pet my head when I was a little girl. Innocent and pure. Now I stand here, by the burned down building and just watch as the remains of his body lay there. The two of them were lost now, forever gone from this world. They both left me alone a long time ago. And while I longed to hold either of them once again - my heart does only mildly ache. What am I to feel towards a man who never bothered to see me? Did he ever consider me a daughter? If so, surely he would have come for me? I feel tears form in my eyes and as I press my eyelids together, shutting the hues, I can feel the wet drops slowly falling down my cheek. A tickling feeling that does neither comfort me nor saddens me. I have cried many nights. Back then when I was a little girl. For my mother who left me alone without ever saying Good-Bye and for my father whose reason for leaving me I never understood. As I grew older the feelings of sadness faded away. Slowly but surely - as greater suffering was inflicted on me. Physical pain - it was a thing I haven't known up to the point when they began using me. This body of mine seemed like a curse - only later I realized it was a blessing. It is because of me that the world can be rid off the demons lurking around and forcing people to sin. It is this vulnerable body of mine that makes destroying demons possible. If it means serving the rightful Lord then I won't mind the pain. I will handle it - until the day my weak body will lose all of its strength and will become nothing but faded shell.

There was not a single soul here. The pain in my chest increased for a reason I did not understand. Did I after all, still feel love for this man? My body falls to the floor and I lean against the wall. My tears had dried and I could not feel new ones forming. And there I sat. For hours. Until it was dawn. I did not sleep that night. Yet I felt awake. I got up, gave the burned body a final look and turned to walk away, back to the church I lived in.

When I opened the door I find a blond haired male sitting on one of the benches.

"Welcome to the sanctuary. I am Caren Ortensia, the priestess of this church. What have you come here for, young man?"

I take steps forward as I wonder. It was rare for someone to visit the church so early. Once I stood in front of him I stopped and observed him closer. He had an unique and handsome face. It was clear that he was not from here.

Lifting my head to look to the side, I notice the Golden earings and Golden necklace he wears. There was no mistake. It was /him/.

The male smirks widely. It seems as if he noticed my realization.

"We meet at last, daughter of Kirei." His red hues stare at me, almost pierce my soul. It felt as if he knew everything about me. If so.. was it 'father' who told him?

"That seems to be the case, Gilgamesh, King of Heroes." I knew him well. After the death of my father I read through the records of the 5th Holy Grail war.

And some personal notes my father has kept… There were not much of those, but enough to allow me an understanding of Gilgamesh's personality.

He suddenly stands up, his hand moves as he begins to speak once again.

"Your father has fallen. It was only a matter of time and entirely amusing how surprised he was over his own downfall. He gave me the entertainment I seeked in this world for the time being but now that he has gone - I intend to find something else."

Of course. Now that this servant lost his Master, he would need a prana source immediately. Otherwise he would fade away.

"Let me take a guess. This is the reason for you coming here. You believe I can entertain you as he did because his blood runs through my veins."

A glass of wine appears in his hand.

"The sixth holy Grail war is approaching and with Kotomine's death it makes you the new mediator. You should know as well as I do that a mediator without a servant is at high risk."

He drinks from the glass of wine, taking a long but elegant sip.

Ahahaha… this almost makes me laugh, the way he tries to manipulate me. How hilarious. Utterly hilarious of him to think he could manipulate me as easily as that 'father' of mine. No. It was him in need of me and not the other way around.

I smirk and place my hands behind my back.

"I understand your request, Gilgamesh. It's only natural for a servant to seek out a new prana source. Do not worry. You've made a grand choice. I won't disappoint you and your desire for entertainment. After all, happy people make me want to vomit."

I rub the palm of my hand.

"I will enter this contract with you. So that I myself can find entertainment in the suffering of the participants of this war."

Gilgamesh's teeth grit for a short while.

Oh? It seems like my blunt statement made him a little bit angry. I may be that mans daughter but I am by far not as easily manipulated as he was. I know Gilgamesh and his ways. I will never fall prey to them.

I have become a priestess. An independent woman.

But it did not seem like he would protest.

"You'd best not disappoint me, Caren." Our hands grab each others as our contract is made. The command seals for this servant appearing on my palm.

Later that day I took a walk by the sea. I read through the notes left by my father once more and a new kind of interest was born in me.

Lancer.

The man who killed Kotomine Kirei.

A man who suffered much in the previous war. Hah.. it was only fitting for a class that was bound to bad luck.

His suffering made me chuckle. I gain the confused looks of bypassers, but I do not give them much of a thought.

First he loses his original Master - a girl he seems attached to. Then he is forced to obey whatever the sadistic priest he's now servant to wants. No way out of it… Though seeing him kill the man responsible for his misery was slightly disappointing.

Perhaps if I get involved with him I will get to see his face of agony close up. For some strange reason the desire to do so within me was strong.

I no longer needed time to think of what to do. I turned from the shore and walked back to the burned down church again. The Lancer should still be there. They were running out of time and it would soon be that he would fade away. That's why I had to hurry. So I ran. Even if it was difficult with this fragile body of mine, my desire to obtain this servant was too strong.

I reached the church, panting. I looked up a tree and saw the fading blue.

"Lancer." My emotionless voice speaks up.

"What do ya want?" He responds; somewhat annoyed. Music to my ears. It seems like the suffering he's been put through still affected him strongly.

"Do you wish to remain in this world?"

"Not really. My purpose here is over."

"Do you not desire the Grail? There is a second chance for you to attain it. And I can help you with that. Your previous Master has put you through some harsh times. Which I, as his daughter, have to apologize for."

Suddenly, the fading figure shifted. It seems as if he had not expected that man to have children.

"His daughter?"

"Indeed. Though, he's never bothered to raise me. I know nothing of that man, just as he knew nothing of me. His death affects me in no way."

A blatant lie but where was the fun if I told him the truth? After all, I couldn't mess with Lancer the way I wanted if I told him the truth.

"Tch, that's just like him. Causing suffering to anyone close to him. I'm more than glad I got rid off him."

"He is a heartless person. He has caused me great pain by leaving me all alone as a child. For many years I believed he might come to see me again, but that never happened."

More lies leave my lips as I intend to make him symphatize with me. If I did, the disappointment in him when finding out about the real me, will be all the more great.

Of course, I did not approach him without doing proper research on this spirit. I knew the legend of Cu Chullain and one of his greatest weaknesses, were women.

Just with my gender I could most likely manipulate him. Which was funny, such a shallow guy he was…

Not the brightest either. His talents were fighting and bedding women.

It will be so amusing to play with him.

He comes jumping down from the tree. He stood tall and manly before me. Immediately I understood why so many women have fallen for him. He wasn't a guy you can just reject. I look up at him and find myself attracted to him. What a bastard he was, making me feel this way, forcing my attention where it did not belong.

"I guess it won't hurt to try for a second time." He rubs his head.

Ah, so it seems like he had a wish for the Holy Grail? Or was it maybe pity? Did he want to cheer me up by being with me?

I had to hold back my chuckle as I mused over it.

"I am glad you don't refuse. I don't like disobediance. That's the first thing you need to know about me."

I give him a sly smirk as my hand reaches out to grab his. He didn't hesistate but instead gripped it firmly and gave it a shake.

"Haha! So you're the controlling type? I like women who know what they want!" He laughs harshly as he shouts the words out.

Ahahaha… he really was an idiot. He had no idea of the abysoss he just walked into.

 _ **Cu's POV**_

I followed her as she leaded the way to her home. She told me it was another church. I had my fill of them and it wasn't a pleasing thought to go to one again, but if it was my new Master's home, what could I do?

As long as I have the company of this cute girl, things will be alright. And she was strong willed too. Something I could tell already. Being left all alone as a child by that heartless bastard and being lost in wait for him made her strong and independent. A priestess with a church of her own. Living her life without the help of anyone. It was admirable. And then the way she told me she won't take kindly to disobedience. Sounded like a woman I knew all too well. Maybe teaming with her will bring me the peace I've been seeking at last. I made a grave mistake when failing to protect Bazett. It was a mistake I had yet to erease. That's why I was happy over this second chance. My wish for the Grail was to bring Bazett back. To allow her a happy life away from all this Grail war nonsense. In the first place, she joined the war because she wanted to lift the curse from me. It was sweet.. entirely sweet. Letting her die was simply unforgiveable. I had to give her what she deserves for being so thoughtful of me. It was always rare to find good people like that.

"Oh that reminds me! I don't know your name yet!"

"Caren. Caren Ortensia." She responded. So, she didn't take her fathers name then? A good choice.

"That's a nice name, but doesn't sound like it's from around this country."

"I was born in southern Europe, where my mother was from."

"Oh. 'Was'? So your mother is…?"

"Shut up. Don't ask so many questions. I'll tell you if I feel the need to." She answers. Her answer lacked emotion. She was not snarling, nor was she sad.

She was an odd woman…

"Alright." My quick response came as she opens the door and we walked inside. The church was dark and cold. A bad reminder on Kirei…

"We're here. The rooms are upstairs. Here is the key for yours."

"Wow! That's great you're actually giving me a room? Your father wasn't as kind." I grin brightly and I was clearly surprised. It wasn't just her father - it was rare for any servant to get the luxery of a room.

"Hmph. It's late. You should sleep."

"Well sure, I'll get going then. Good night to you."

As I walk upstairs a figure comes moving down. What? We weren't alone here? Oh I guess since it's a sanctuary there will be….

"Ehhh?!" My eyes flash open as I realize /who/ this person is.

Our eyes stare at each others for a long while. Seconds that appear like hours.

"B-BAZETT?!"

Why? No way! Why was she here? This couldn't be true! He held her in his arms as she took her last breath… How is such a thing possible?

"Bazett is that really you?"

"Cu…" Right now, her voice sounded soft and fragile.

"What is the meaning of this?" I turn to look at Caren who had her back turned to us now.

"I found her and healed her, that's all."

I look at Caren, then at Bazett.

Caren would do something so kind?

Damn.. it seemed like I really was in her debt huh?

My wish for the Holy Grail popped off in this moment. But I was in no way disappointed. How could I be after seeing Bazett alive and well?

"How are you Bazett?" I grab her hands and squeeze them. To confirm she was indeed alive I wanted to feel her flesh. And it only made me happier to feel how alive it was.

"I am fine Cu. It's thanks to Caren that I stand before you once again. And that I'm able to talk to you again. I'm so sorry for being careless. It's my failure that caused you great suffering. I couldn't fulfill my wish…" She said she was fine but she looked sad. Her eyes narrow as she says such a selfless thing.

"It's not your fault at all! The careless one was me! And the one surely at fault is that bastard Kiriei… But you don't have to worry about that… I've already taken care of him. Was in order after what he did to you…"

That and how he tried to kill another innocent girl. Someone who much reminded him on his old teacher.

"Cu." The smile returns to her face. I was glad to see her happy. This day had been a good one, especially for someone cursed to be summoned into this class….

 _ **Caren's POV**_

As I hear the two converse my body stiffens. Laughter, smiles, happiness… a reunion. I knew it would eventually come to this, but I did not expect it so soon. I feel the anger built up in me. Not so much at how things went against how I planned them. More the happiness I was confronted with. I wanted to crush it. All of it. Right here, right now. No. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

He was to suffer, as I planned….

"That's enough. It is late and time to sleep. The two of you best go to your beds now. We're going to have a long day tomorrow."

"Common now Caren, I want to talk to Bazett for a little."

What a fool. I told him just earlier I dislike disobedience. Yet he dared to?

"You. Are. Going to go to bed." I demand. I turn around so my stern gaze can meet the both of them.

Bazett's gaze is focused on Cu, while he gives me a disappointed look.

Ah, how beautiful. I'm hurting him on the first day already.

"What's wrong with talking for a bit?"

He honestly dared to ask the same question again?

I wasted no more time. With a swift movement of my left hand, the Holy Shroud came shooting out. Its strands wrapped around Lancer. They tighten, making it hard for him to breathe.

"I told you something earlier. Now if you don't want to be crushed, listen and go to bed. The same goes for you, Bazett."

From the corner of my eye I stare at the redhead. A tiny smirk on my lips. I can feel it. Her anger, her sorrow. Her hatred towards me because I am taking her precious Cu away from her.

"Gaaaah?" Cu struggles against the Shroud, but of course it was impossible for him, a man, to get out.

"You're not going to get out of this. I can drag you to your room if its what you want."

"Caren! Let him out! We get it but just let him out!" Bazett protests. Ah, there she goes, wanting to save her favorite hero.

"You will go to your bed, right?" I look Cu into the eyes, awaiting his answer.

"Damn it, okay. Calm down. This stuff hurts."

I swirl my hand once again and free him.

"Good night." With that, I leave to my own room. But only do I step into my bed after making sure Cu and Bazett have done the same.

I look up at the ceiling as I try to sleep, but for some reason, I just couldn't. I sat up and turned the lights on, checking the time. The house was quiet. Cu and Bazett seemed to be asleep.

Cu….

He was on my mind.

My thoughts were sinful ones.

I close my eyes as I imagine how his big hands would press me back down onto the bed, how they would move the night gown from me to fondle with my bare flesh. As sinful pictures rush through my head, I begin to moan, my fingers start to move all on their own, making their way under my rose nightgown, shoving the white panties to the side.

I begin to rub myself, my legs spread further as I do. It felt so good. So satisfying. I rub harder, my moans intensify. My gaze is focused on the ceiling but what I truly see is him moving within me. Why did I have to think like this? This kind of thing was wrong. It was utterly sinful. Yet I couldn't stop myself. And I wanted more. Why should I not take what is right in front of me? Why should I have to satisfy myself with just this?

I stop the rubbing and get up. It was tough to walk. My crotch was weak. It wanted to feel more of this. It was so needy. As I move, sticky white fluids drip down my legs, down the floor, staining and dirtying it. But I don't stop. I continue moving, until I stand before the closed door. It doesn't bother me. Privacy was not a thing servants were granted anyway. I open the door and move over his sleeping form. I remove my panties and press my bare slit into his face.

"This is your duty as a servant. Satisfy me. Make me feel like I never have before. Do it." I slap him hard across the face to wake him from his sleep. The very slap, only increased my wetness

Ah. Slapping him hurting him, staining his face red… made me feel so aroused.

He barks as he wakes up. The red mark from the slap so clear on his face. He spoke, but I could not understand a thing of what he said, for he was muffled by my wet hole.

"Lick me." My cold eyes stare down at him. Full of want. There was such desire to see him in pain. So I slapped him again. Harder this time. Leaving another red mark on his other cheek. My hips begin to move, I move back and forth as I press my pussy deeply against his mouth.

"Lick me! I need it so much!" And once again, I slap him. My body shivers. I moan, I collapse almost at this great feeling. I was so close to my orgasm. I only needed his tongue inside of me… and things would be complete.

"Lick me. I told you, I don't like disobedience. Be a good servant, and insert that tongue of yours into me." I grab his head and shove it against my pussy.

To feel him…

To make him do as I want.

It was his only purpose now that he agreed to this contract.

And Bazett?

Hah, she would suffer losing him on a whole new level….


End file.
